Sam Louie, a therapist specializing in overcoming addictive behaviors, writes in this article why shame based cultures are actually damaging to Christian communities. He states at one point,
Because he is elevated above any nation, tribe, or ethnic identity that tries to hold us back spiritually, Christ offers forgiveness and mercy with the power to break the bonds of cultural shame. As Christians, then, we can live in authentic community that gives us the freedom to risk exposing our vulnerabilities to one another. Members of the body of Christ must be free to acknowledge our hurts and struggles so we can be known and healed.
In psychological circles we call this a "false self," because the reality and vitality of life is cut off from the person who refuses to acknowledge any feelings or thoughts deemed unacceptable to them or their culture. For millions of Asians, this false self is a defense and construct needed to protect the ego as we strive to earn approval and acceptance. Unless it is confronted and torn down, the individual will stay locked in a cycle of cultural shame that can stifle his soul that craves to be released from bondage.
All this being said, of course there are legitimate issues and social problems caused by honor-shame cultures. For instance, group cohesion and solidarity often causes groups to become extremely exclusive and in some cases even violent against other groups. But just because a cultural system has a tendency towards causing these problems doesn’t mean that we should just throw out the entire system! After all, we live in an individualistic society and there are just as many social problems today as there ever was in any collectivist society; depression, suicide, mass shootings, sexual slavery, gang wars, drugs etc.
But it gets worse, because Louie makes a further argument that shame based cultures cannot allow for forgiveness either from others or ourselves;
Guilt can be healthy since it helps us acknowledge mistakes we need to correct and leads us to think of ways to rebuild ourselves and our relationships with others---including with God. Shame, by contrast, is a perverse and distorted belief that we are inherently unworthy of love. Consequently when you feel shame, instead of wanting to be corrected, you feel you deserve to be persecuted, punished, and tormented. A shame-based person doesn't know how to feel healthy guilt.
This is what I mean when I say Christianity is being psychologized. We think we somehow have to conform to the pseudo-scientific interpretations of various studies and experiments performed by psychologists. But we cannot simultaneously believe that all feelings of anguish and despair are somehow evil and believe that we are deeply sinful creatures unless we define sin in terms of feeling depressed and self-hatred. This idea is damaging for the Christian community because it prevents us from actually dealing with the fact that we are not usually good people, that we do wrong others and that we do deserve punishment!
Whatever your cultural or social upbringing, Jesus can heal and change you. He can transform your heart and free you from the emotional or spiritual bondage. No matter how weak, defective, or incompetent you may feel, God can transform your shame for his glory. This good news needs to be shared among millions of Asians---some in our own churches---who are still suffering in shameful silence.
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